sigh.

Okay. I've got an exam on Wednesday. I thought to myself, it's fine. I'll study all day Sunday, Monday night and Tuesday afternoon and I'll do just fine on the exam as I always do....

but somehow, this one feels different. I just spent four hours reading through the textbook, and ... well ... it's not going well. I don't think I can manage even a simple practice problem to save my life. The way the book writes out it's variables is funny and I often forget what all the greek symbols stand for.

I watched this T.V. show where there was this girl who remembered EVERYTHING. I mean, she had the perfect memory. She remembers every hour of every day of her life. And on this show, her job was a waitress at some local diner. And someone asked her, "Why aren't you working at NASA?" and the woman just said, yes she could remember everything, but that doesn't make her smart. That doesn't mean she can put the information she has into context and come up with answers.

I know, you're wondering how this relates to me, well, I feel like I'm like her. I can read the textbook and think I understand it. I can follow all these practice problems, but when a different problem is thrown at me, I have no clue how to solve it.

I mean, I think I must have read through about a half a dozen problems on flying planes, and then I said to myself, okay, I'll try to do one on my own. I tried. I failed. I had NO CLUE how to apply what I knew.

I'm gonna be a fail!!!!

During those four hours, my mind kept drifting to far more interesting things, and I realized. who the hell cares? this is just one bloody exam only worth 20% of one class of one semester of one year. it can't that important. sure I'd like to do well, but hell, I want a social life, I don't really give a fug about this exam.

(ah, who am I kidding, sure I do!!!!) O_O