meltdown.

you know that meltdown you asked me about eariler?

well, I'm having it............... O_O

I'M DYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYINNNNNNNNNNGGGGG!!!

I hate school. I know I've said this before, but now it's at a peak, I just want to drop out. or change my major or just .... DIE!!!!! I can't handle school anymore. the classes, the homework, the assigments. I'M FAILING!!! and I have no desire, to scramble and try to fix that. I just don't want to be an engineer. I HATE the prospect of what the fuck I'm going to do with my life. I don't feel smart enough, motivated enough, interested enough to do this anymore. I'm a FUCKING IDIOT! this is the hardest semester I've had, but FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't know what to do. I don't want to spend the rest of my life sitting at a desk, staring at a computer, designing something. currently, I don't think I am capable at designing anything, I don't even think I'd enjoy designing something, I think I'd just hate it.

I'm depressed. and stressed. I want to curl into a ball and cry while eating cookie dough. (and have Molly purring next to me).