nanny

I"m feeling guilty.

I asked this person if she'd be a reference for me on my quest to be a nanny this summer, and she flat out siad, "Well, Jennifer. You've never baby-sat for me."

I mean, how am I suppose to respond to that!!!?? When asked to be a reference, you should just say yes, and act happy to do it for someone, not make them feel bad about trying to get a good job!! O_O

I proceeded to tell her, "I haven't exactly baby-sitted for that many people, so I don't really have any contacts for that..." By now, my heart was just bleeding. She eventually said, yes, but now I'm REALLY hesitant to put her down as a reference. The problem is, I barely know any adults. I am a kid. I tend to only know people my age. Any adults I DO know, I sure as hell don't feel comfortable asking to reference me, PLUS the only adults I DO know are just relatives.

Why can't I just have a dishonest person as a reference. Someone who will lie, and talk me up to be this amazing person. Why can't I know any AWESOME dishonest adults. I would do it for someone else. I mean, I wouldn't go the full extreme and make up that I'm this big-wig CEO, but I would pretend that a girl I knew had baby-sat for my kids and that she was responsible and what not. GAH!!!!! CAN SOMEONE BE DISHONEST FOR ME!!!!?!?!

and I must say, who cares if this is disloyal? I AM a good responsible girl. I wouldn't be poison for the kids I'd watch. I'm just looking for a leg up. That's all. Once, last year when I was applying for a nanny position, I put down that I loved kids. No, I don't exactly love, them, but I don't hate them, and I would definitely watch them responsibly and safely and with fun regardless if I loved the kids or not. THe point is, an ex-friend of mine said, "Jennifer that's really terrible what you're doing!"

She proceeded to inform me that I was a HORRIBLE person for lying about liking kids and that it affects the safety of the kids and that parents deserve better and on and on!!! O_O

Holy hell!!!! Does she not KNOW me??! I feel like I'd make a GREAT nanny. It would help me grow as a person, and I would grow into being a kid lover. I just haven't spent much time with them yet.

What she said, really got to me.... I feel like she was being REALLY rude, talking me down like that.

I AM RESPONSIBLE!!!!!